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Thu, Apr. 19th, 2007, 04:48 pm
metao: Rick And Cam Review Everything - 1x01 - The Pilot

We had an article printed in Grok. Here it is in all its (unedited) glory.


WARNING: IF YOU WANT TO BECOME SPONTANEOUSLY PREGNANT, READ THIS ARTICLE


As we have been avid readers of Grok for some time, we have noticed that, towards the back of the magazine, Grok often contains reviews.
However, these are generally only for things like movies and CD's. We assume that this is because there are too many media and journalism students. But it is not good enough! There are many things in this world that need reviewing, and that's something we are going to fix. University students are too busy and uninformed to decide what rocks for themselves. That’s where we come in. If we were a commercial radio station, our slogan would be "all reviews, all the time*".

It is only fair that we begin by reviewing ourselves.


CAM: Suffice to say, I am awesome. I should also point out that Rick is a bastard. A bastard with some semblance of taste, but a bastard nonetheless. You may ask us "Why do you guys know so much about being awesome?". Well I'd say we were born with it. And you guys are LUCKY to be able to benefit from our knowledge. A+++

RICK: I agree. I am a bastard. A sexy bastard (hello ladies!). And while my erstwhile companion is fairly excellent, I would also like to categorically state that he is also filthy. Be that as it may, when our powers combine, they become greater than the sum of their parts. A bit like Captain Planet, really. We kick ass. A++


RICK: Continuing with the trend of bipartisan neutrality, we should next consider our host publication, GROK. Now, I don't know about you, Cameron, but I think that there is some real meat to be digested within these pages. You know, once you skip past all the Guild bollocks and ignore the interviews with local bands no-one has heard of. Besides, it is fun to draw mustaches on the Vice Chancellor. A

CAM: I enjoyed the halcyon days of university. I would sit and read GROK, engage in lively debates, play Connect 4, have some nice meals, juggle, draw and do origami. And that was just in the lectures. I like to think that GROK helped me understand how to best spend my lecture time. GROK sets the tone for in class distraction and entertainment. And now we help set that tone. B


CAM: Superman is stupid. Actually, no, Superman is really stupid. He can run super fast, shoot lasers out of his eyes, fly, see through walls, blow with the force of a hurricane and he is essentially indestructable. Unfortunately he doesn't have a personality or a brain. There are never really any hardships for him to overcome, so no-one can relate to the character. His only weakness, a kind of rare green alien rock that renders him the equal of a weak dizzy human, is so amazingly abundant that every two-bit wannabe criminal mastermind can get their hands on it. How come Superman doesn't spend some of his time gathering up this stuff and destroying it? Because he is stupid! Of course if Superman got his act together and destroyed all of the Kryptonite on planet earth then the stories would become even MORE boring. His symbol is awesome though, which boosted his score some. F+

RICK: Superman may be misguided in his application of power, but let us face facts: his powers are basically awesome. I do also love the logo. The "S" is cool - it represents an incredible potential for power, held in check by humanity. Plus, as the title character pointed out in Kill Bill, he is the only one who has a “secret identity” that is in fact the alter-ego**. Everyone else plays at being super; Superman plays at being human. He also gets bonus points for the hot bitches on Smallville. B+


RICK: I would now like to aim our penetrating gaze at work. Not those bullshit jobs you have at uni. The kind you have to get out of bed before 8am for. What the fuck is with that? Work sucks. On the one hand, you have workmates, who are awesome, and money to play with, which is nice. But you spend half of your weekdays at work, traveling to and form work, preparing for work, and collapsing deliriously on the couch after work. Assuming you get a reasonable amount of sleep, that only leaves about 4 hours to cook and eat a meal, and relax. Then you spend your weekend in a coma from blitzing Friday and Saturday nights. That, my friends, is bullshit. Stay at uni. D-

CAM: Work, in pure physics terms, is defined as Force multiplied by displacement caused by that force. Work, in a labor sense, is defined as something unenjoyable that you do for money. Physics is awesome, labor is not. In his Soul of Man Under Socialism essay, Oscar Wilde noted that we need robot slaves in order for the world to exist as a utopia. Someone has to work, so I say ‘why not the Transformers?’ D



* Except for this bit at the top
** Ignoring, say, the Martian Manhunter.

Fri, Jan. 12th, 2007, 10:49 pm
metao: Steak, Mac and Cheese

Dinner was interesting.

I started out making steak. I defrosted the meat and prepped the veggies. Then I realised we had no potato, so I started to make steak pasta (which is just normal pasta except you used chopped meat instead of mince). Then I realised that there was too much steak. Except there probably wasnt, really, because it was rump, which shrinks a lot.

So I called Dave, and he told me how to make pasta bake. Then I basically ignored his instructions, and did it my own way. I made mac and cheese (with a secret saucy ingredient) with steak and stir fry veg. It was odd. But reasonable.

Sat, Dec. 30th, 2006, 03:54 pm
metao: Wanno is a lesbian

SHE LIKES BOOBIES


Hopefully she can pick us up some hotties when we go to Melbourne in 19 days.

Tue, Nov. 14th, 2006, 09:37 pm
metao: (no subject)

Internets are alive again! I think Sean fucked it up.

ZOMG DOWNLOADING MORE HEROES GOGOGO

Wed, Mar. 15th, 2006, 08:43 am
metao: Episode 2x03

This is getting annoying very quickly.

Cars broken into last nights. Double you tee eff, crime rate statistics?

Hopefully smashed windows cost less than a screwdrivered' lock. Im gonna see if I can get my alarm rewired to be more sensitive, too...

Mon, Feb. 6th, 2006, 09:39 pm
metao: Stolen Bike!

For the record, the stuff that was stolen:

(copied from Cams post and updated)

- DVD player
- TV remote
- DVD remote
- Set-top box remote
- Goon
- Cam's Big Day Out trousers
- Cam's Gameboy
- Season 2, Disc 2 of Buffy.
- most of Ricky's socks.
- At least 70c in cash money (!)
- two of Ricky's watches: Non-functional Bali ripoff, Rip Curl with flat battery.

But the cops have apparently caught the bastards (they live down the road; we know which house), and that they have some of our stuff. We should know more later this week.

Sun, Feb. 5th, 2006, 07:55 am
metao: Episode 2x02

Cam and Ricky are broken into. DVD player is stolen. Buffy, Season 2 Disk 2 is also taken (by way of being inside the DVD player). Possibly also all three remote controls are taken. All drawers in the bedroom are rummaged through, but not the bookshelves.

Breaking and Stealing and Rummaging through our shit: NOT APPROVED

Rickys Big Day Out ticket and $100 cash, sitting in plain view, are not taken, causing much confusion.

Stupid Thieves: FAIRLY STANDARD

And all when we have a guest.

Chris Rock was right. If you want to hide your money, put it in your books.

Sun, Jan. 29th, 2006, 10:04 pm
metao: Episode 2x01

The latest addition to the cast is the Foosball table. It went in through the window. The current ladder has Cam at the top with a 2-0 record. In my defence, he practiced before adding that second victory.

Also, we should party more often. Its the only way to get a clean house.

Fri, Nov. 11th, 2005, 05:45 pm
metao: (no subject)

When I walked in, the house smelled like lollies. I consider this a positive step.

Wed, Jul. 6th, 2005, 09:29 pm
metao: (no subject)

steak sauce = fried onions + mushrooms + gravox + extra pepper = gold

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